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Bill’s Story

Many of us who have embarked on a 12-step program of recovery are quite familiar with Bill’s Story, which Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder Bill Wilson wrote.

When I first read his story, my first thought was, how could I relate to a man who got sober in the 1930s? Who was this Bill Wilson?

After being at several Big Book studies, the power of Wilson’s words came to life after participants at the AA meeting, and I took turns reading the chapter out loud and then discussing what we had read.

Sometimes words are so powerful when they are expressed aloud.

Yes, Bill Wilson lived in a different time, but I came to understand how much his personal struggle with alcoholism reflected my own battle and that of other addicts.

Bill’s Story reflects the progression of alcoholism, as well as the evolution of drug addiction.

His story is timeless.

One line that I highlighted in my Big Book was from the first chapter when Bill says, “I was very lonely and again turned to alcohol.” I also used alcohol to combat loneliness, as well as other feelings like depression and anxiety.

Alcohol numbed my feelings, but the next day I felt worse and even more alone. After some time, I became addicted to alcohol. As Bill said, “Liquor ceased to be a luxury. It turned into a necessity.”

Why does alcohol become a necessity to an alcoholic, even when it stops working?

Well, alcoholics develop a tolerance to booze, and over time, need more alcohol to create the same effect that they once had gotten with just a smaller quantity.

In my case, I started with a glass of wine, followed by two. I was very paranoid about gaining weight, so that was why I stuck to one or two glasses of wine. I had this crazy idea that white wine had fewer calories than red wine.

Go figure.

Later on, in the throes of alcoholism, I realized that I was actually losing weight. Plus, I was smoking like a fiend. So what did I do?

I drank a bottle or two of wine. At the end of my drinking, I was guzzling about a gallon of very cheap Chablis daily.

Chapter 3 of the Big Book, More About Alcoholism, discusses how alcoholics try to take matters into their own hands. One time, I tried changing the type of alcohol I drank. I switched from wine to tequila, then to brandy mixed with diet coke inside one of those diet coke bottles. I will never forget when I was drinking that awful brew, as I was driving on a long and curvy road somewhere in the Los Angeles Forest.

I almost drove off the road.

So after that experience, I tried red wine, figuring that if a glass of wine was good for my heart, why not a whole bottle?

That didn’t last long.

I went back to white wine, and sometimes I would smoke pot, which wasn’t really pot; it was hashish, but I had gotten it from a very shady acquaintance, so I didn’t know that.

And I began to hallucinate and blackout.

I developed the shakes, and I was so hungover when I got up the next day, which usually was around 3 pm because by then, I had lost my job as a writer at a local newspaper.

I drank for over a decade.

During that time, my dogs and I have moved from Los Angeles to Burbank to Tujunga to Lake Los Angeles and Palmdale.

I felt like a traveling circus, especially when I had my horses and a goat.

One day, I ended up at the 99 cents store on Palmdale Boulevard.  I left the windows rolled up inside my cheap Ford T-bird, which incidentally did not have air conditioning. It was August 15, 2011. And I began to cry because I could not move. I was shaking so horribly, even though it was about 100 degrees.

I knew that the Palmdale AA fellowship was about a block or two away in the back of my mind.

I had gone to one meeting several years back, in the dead of winter, dressed in crazy legwarmers, shorts, cowboy boots, and a t-shirt, and walked out.

I had such an attitude!

After I left the meeting, I went to the store and bought wine.

But this time, I told myself, it was different.

I went to the Palmdale group and walked into the middle of a meeting.

Then about a day or so later, I went into withdrawals.

I suffered from delirium tremens.

If I could do it all over again, I would not have put myself through that hell.

I would have gone to a drug rehab that offered clinical, evidence-based therapy.

Cycles of Change would have been a godsend for me.

Not only did I need to get sober, but also I had to address my depression. At that time, I was so naïve I did not realize that there were drug rehabs that also had therapy designed to treat co-occurring disorders. And honestly, I had a hard time understanding AA and the steps. I really needed the help of experts because I was very suspicious of the people at the meeting.

That’s just how I was.

After two months, I relapsed.

Relapse is dangerous. After being sober for some time and then going back to alcohol, the body freaks out. That’s when people die from alcohol poisoning.

Well, when I relapsed, wine began to taste horrible. I felt that with every sip, I was poisoning myself.

But I kept at it because I hated myself for relapsing, for my horrible life, you name it, I was my worst enemy.

After Bill Wilson’s friend, Ebby, a recovering alcoholic, visited Bill while drinking in his house, Bill began to experience the stirrings of an awakening. He saw that Ebby “was on a different footing. His roots grasped a new soil.”

Towards the end of my drinking, I felt that I was standing in a deserted field and that there were weeds wrapped around my body, using me as a trellis, as if I was a scarecrow.

As many of us know, Bill finally had a spiritual awakening when he went for treatment at Town’s Hospital. He saw a flash of white light and felt a feeling of peace and joy within his soul.

On November 27, 2011, I was so intoxicated that I fell on my knees and yelled at God. At that point, my dogs and I lived alone inside a foreclosed house that did not even belong to me. Suddenly, I saw a statue of Buddha on my desk that the homeowner had left behind after he moved out.

So I asked Buddha for help.

Then, I felt a sense of euphoria.

And just then, I saw my cell phone flashing. While Bill W. experienced a white light, I heard an odd ringtone, which I had recorded one day, courtesy of my pooches.

My ringtone barked.

And barked.

I answered.

It was a sober member from the Palmdale group, a woman who called me every day, even though I was drunk.

(And sometimes, when she called me, I drank on purpose while I was on the phone with her. One time I made sure that she heard the cork from the wine bottle pop off.)

I told her over and over,

“I am done. I am done.”

“I will be at the 8 pm meeting at the Palmdale Group. Why don’t we meet there?”

“I am ashamed. I have to identify as a newcomer, all over again. Maybe I don’t belong there!” I said.

She chuckled.

“I think you’ve earned your seat at the Palmdale group.”

Bill’s Story is my story.

And I believe it is the story of every alcoholic and addict who realizes that they can’t need help.

I was not afraid of death.

But I was terrified of life.

And whatever happened to the Buddha?

Well, every time I move (yeah, that still happens), I make sure that he is packed carefully. At one point, I wondered if the original owner had purchased the Buddha from a Zen monastery.

I honestly thought the statue was holy!

One day, this past winter, I was inside Wal-Mart and happened to walk down the clearance aisle.

There were garden accessories for sale.

And suddenly, behind a bird feeder, I saw the Buddha.

It was the same Buddha that I had!

He was marked down to $15.00.

I couldn’t stop laughing.

God has a sense of humor.

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Las Vegas Location

People hugging in group rehab session.

Vegas Students Express Need for Drug Rehabs

 

During the annual Las Vegas Sun Youth Forum, which was held in the Las Vegas Convention Center on December 4, 2016, a large group of high school students expressed major concern for the future of Las Vegas, claiming that there is a huge demand for more resources to fight drug abuse and sex trafficking.

For over half a century, the Forum, which was founded in 1956 by Las Vegas Sun publisher Hank Greenspan, has been an arena for teenagers to get together and discuss public issues. What started as a small forum comprised of less than 100 students from five high schools, has evolved to a major venue that holds over 1000 students from 52 high schools.

The topic of drug abuse came up during the Forum because the state of Nevada is the fourth leading state for drug overdose mortality rates. Although Las Vegas is a bright-lit city, it harbors a dark side.  Besides lenient alcohol laws, there is easy access to drugs. And the drug epidemic not only affects residents, but often tourists head over to Vegas to party and to score “white powder.”

After doing an online search of Drugs and Vegas, I found two forums, which included tourists asking where they could score cocaine and other illegal substances once they landed in Sin City.

And let’s face it.

Besides a heavy onslaught of tourists, there are a lot of residents in Las Vegas. And the city’s population is increasing on an annual basis.

State demographer Jeff Hardcastle predicted that by the year 2019, the number of people living in Las Vegas would be about 2.2 million.

Dense populations often suffer from high addiction rates and crime. So its no surprise that Las Vegas made it to ninth place on Forbes’ 2016 America’s Most Dangerous Cities list.

But what drugs are the worst offenders in Vegas?

According to a 2015 report compiled by the Attorney General’s Nevada Substance Abuse Working Group’s (SAWG), an organization that studies matters associated to substance abuse in Nevada, one of the biggest problems facing the state, as well as the rest of the country, is controlled prescription drug abuse which includes opiate painkillers like OxyContin and Hydrocodone.

Recently, a Clark County coroner reported that the main cause of accidental fatalities in Clark County, which includes Las Vegas as the county seat, is from drug overdoses, not motor vehicle accidents. These deaths include individuals between the ages of 35 and 60 years of age. According to the report, senior citizens, ages 60 years and older, were taking about eight prescription drugs on a daily basis. The top five prescription drugs that were involved were oxycodone, alprazolam, hydrocodone, morphine and methadone.

While addicts are sometimes prescribed methadone to wean off heroin, sometimes they end up addicted on methadone, instead of getting proper treatment to obtain permanent sobriety.

And for adolescent addicts who are hooked on opiate painkillers, there’s an equally grim future.

Heroin.

Many teen addicts move onto dope because it’s a cheap substitute.  In 2008 and 2009, Nevada police uncovered two drug operations where heroin dealers were targeting private schools and offering heroin samples to students.

On the song, I Want It All, by the rock band Queen, Freddie Mercury poignantly sings,  “Here’s to the future, hear the cry of youth.”

Well, the youth at the Las Vegas Sun Youth Forum did shout out.

During the Forum, the high school students asserted that drug issues in their city should be treated from a rehabilitative approach as opposed to a disciplinary method.

The youngsters have acknowledged their awareness of the drug epidemic that is rampant in Las Vegas.  And they spoke from their hearts. Being surrounded by drugs and alcohol is terrifying and threatens their own futures.

The truth is that Las Vegas suffers from a serious drug epidemic, and needs help.

And that help comes in the form of comprehensive treatment that addresses chemical dependency, and co-occurring disorders.

At Cycles of Change, our Las Vegas satellite facility is easily available to assist clients who are looking for drug and/or alcohol treatment. Men and women receive comprehensive assessments with a licensed professional who helps them determine the appropriate treatment protocol. After a comprehensive evaluation, clients begin the journey to recovery. Transportation to our beautiful facilities in Palmdale, California is provided.

But why go out of state to get treatment?

Because detachment from a familiar landscape that one associates with his or her drug addiction is a healthy decision.  And at our gorgeous gender-specific facilities in Palmdale, clients can focus on their recovery, without any distractions.

At our lovely rehabs, clients are provided serene and luxurious surroundings, caring and professional counselors, and compassionate staff.  We provide clients with the tools required for permanent sobriety. Residents learn to receive and provide peer support. As a group, they are transported to local 12-step meetings, where they meet other fellow addicts and alcoholics in recovery.

While doing their step work, residents learn to connect with a Higher Power of their understanding. This Higher Power provides them with the ability to look at life with a different set of lenses.

And during therapy, they learn to deal with co-occurring disorders like depression and anxiety.

While there are so many drugs and alcohol rampant in the city of Vegas, the truth is a client can maintain their recovery, by receiving the proper treatment and care, and following up with aftercare and a recovery support protocol. After the completion of a 30 to 90 day individualized treatment protocol, Cycles of Change offers aftercare. Once a client enters Cycles of Change, they will forever be part of a new family. They learn that sobriety is precious, and that there are others, just like them, who are walking down the same path.

Should you live in Las Vegas, and suffer from alcoholism and/or drug addiction and don’t know where to turn, you have come to the right place.

We are here to help and look forward to hearing from you.

Remember.

You are not alone.

First Responders and Substance Addiction

Photo courtesy of Veterans Outreach Center

First responders endanger their lives to be of service to others, but in doing so, they are often at risk to becoming addicted to alcohol and drugs. To begin with, what is a first responder? They are trained professionals who arrive first at the scene of an emergency.

While we are driving, we might hear sirens, and pull over to the right side of the street to let ambulances, fire trucks, and police cars zoom by. Inside those vehicles are first responders, en route to a critical situation. When such an event occurs, there is no time to spare. These courageous men and women must get to the scene of the emergency as fast as possible. Imagine the stress that they are in, knowing that the lives of civilians depend on them!

While they bear the immense responsibility of saving lives, at times, they might be too late. Sometimes death has already occurred, as in the case of a reported homicide. Besides law enforcement, other first responders include paramedics and firemen, combat veterans, park rangers, corrections officers, emergency medical technicians (EMT’s) and other rescue workers.

While these brave men and women are highly trained to deal with horrifying events, they are still human beings with emotions. Because of their work, some experience posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), trauma, and other co-occurring disorders, so they resort to using and/or drinking to camouflage their distress. When veterans return home from combat operations, they carry deep and dark wounds within. Sometimes they go into shock, and feel cut off from the rest of “normal society.” That’s when PTSD, often followed by substance abuse, develops or worsens.

Symptoms of PTSD in First Responders

PTSD symptoms include recurring nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive, upsetting memories, stemming from their experiences while overseas. According to the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs, veterans who have been affected by PTSD include 31% of those who served in Vietnam, 10% of the military that served in Desert Storm, 20% of Iraqi war veterans, and 11% of veterans from the war in Afghanistan.

Once afflicted with PTSD, war veterans are privy to depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations. Reliving a horrifying memory can cause panic attacks and intense depression. According to a 2015 Vanity Fair article on PTSD and the military, many soldiers reported that seeing other people die, including the enemy is one of the more traumatic events that they have ever experienced in their lives.

Outliving the incident, while others die, is called survivor’s guilt, which is a feeling that other first responders are privy to experiencing, especially if they were not able to save those whose lives were in danger, or if they are confronted with a homicide that occurred after they were alerted of a posing danger to life.

The Need for Addiction Help for First Responders

Resorting to drugs, alcohol and tobacco provides temporary relief, until substance addiction sets in. For first responders, admitting that they have been traumatized by their experiences can be taken as a sign of weakness, and some are at risk for losing their badges or jobs by disclosing that they need help. And their fears are not far from the truth.

According to a 45th Space Wing News article, illicit drug use among active military personnel remains at a low level, most likely because of the military’s zero tolerance policy towards drug use. Random drug testing is often conducted among active military personnel to ensure that this strict policy remains in effect. Discovery leads to humiliation, and a dishonorable discharge. However, while abuse of illicit drugs remains at a low, abuse of prescription drugs is greater among service members than among the public and it’s getting worse.

Additionally, the work of a first responder is physically hazardous, and when harmed on the job, painkillers are often prescribed. Once the injured individuals realize that their painkiller provides temporary relief for their emotional, as well as physical pain, an opiate addiction is right around the corner. Another huge issue that first responders face is alienation from society.

According to the Killology Research Group, law enforcement and solders are part of a subculture, where civilians are known as sheep. Criminals, and the enemy are the wolves. And the police, and veterans are sheep dogs that protect the sheep from the wolves. While this is a great metaphor, one notices the invisible wall that divides these “warriors” from the rest of society.

Drug Rehab for First Responders

When it comes to substance addiction, first responders require clinical, evidence-based treatment for their substance abuse, and co-occurring disorders. Additionally, peer support is crucial in healing feelings of loneliness and despair. It’s important for licensed professionals who work with first responders to have the experience and compassion that is required.

At Cycles of Change Recovery Services, we are sensitive to the needs of the brave men and women who risk their lives on a daily basis in order to be of service to civilians in danger. Our addiction center for first responders offers the specialized treatment that you require. Our clinical team will provide you with an individualized treatment plan that will help you recover from the damages of substance abuse, as well as mental health issues like PTSD, trauma, and stress.

Therapy Methods for PTSD Treatment

Our evidence-based modalities include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a problem-focused and goal directed therapy, behavior modification counseling, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), motivational interviewing, which implements change in high-risk lifestyle behaviors, and bio-sound therapy which focuses on helping clients with trauma.
Learning relaxation techniques can help first responders control stress, as well as the onset of panic. We offer meditation and yoga to help clients get grounded, alleviate stress and feel inner peace.
Additionally, many first responders experience shame, and regret. At Cycles of Change, we implement a 12-step approach, where our clients find inner serenity by connecting to a Higher Power of their understanding. Our 12-step processing workshops allow clients to make peace with their pasts, remove feelings of guilt, learn how to live in the moment and feel hope for the future, knowing that recovery will provide their lives with new meaning, and fortify them with a strength that comes from working the steps.

We offer critical incident stress management (CSIM), which caters to the needs of first responders, as well as safety sensitive clients.

Locations in Palmdale, CA and Las Vegas, NV

While based in Palmdale, California, we maintain a satellite facility in Las Vegas, Nevada, which provides comprehensive assessments, and transportation to one of our gorgeous Antelope Valley facilities.

We believe that the brave men and women who do so much for our community, and our country require compassionate, comprehensive and professional care.

We look forward to your call.

For more information, visit our Las Vegas location page to learn more about our program.

Ecstasy Makes A Comeback

raversAccording to a 2015 Los Angeles Times article, a young college graduate died of an overdose from the synthetic drug, MDMA, commonly known as Ecstasy, while attending the Electric Daisy Carnival rave at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

Raves are huge dance parties featuring electronic dance music, DJ’s and often live performers. The word, Rave, was first used in the late 1980’s, when ecstasy was referred to as a “soft drug” and taking Ecstasy made individuals feel less self-conscious and more social.  Also, rave attendees became less inhibited while dancing and socializing, so raves became chaotic, noisy and crowded affairs held in rundown, vacated buildings.

By the 1990’s when there were countless raves across the nation, the drug Ecstasy became synonymous with attending a rave. Raves and Ecstasy are a dangerous combination, and after Ecstasy was linked to countless deaths, the drug fell out of favor for a period of time. And lately, Ecstasy has been making a comeback, because raves have become major commercial events, almost like rock concerts, and are held in large venues, like the Carnival at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

Since the Electric Daisy Carnival rave moved from Los Angeles to Las Vegas in 2011, there have been five reported deaths resulting from MDMA overdose.

One of the reasons that the rave moved, was due to a Los Angeles Times investigation which discovered that security at the rave was highly inadequate, and that clients participating in the rave were prone to rampant drug and alcohol use.

In 2016, the San Bernardino County Sheriff Coroner’s Division ruled that the deaths of three attendees at July’s HARD Music Festival in San Bernardino, California, had died from ecstasy overdose.

Additionally, the two-day rave that hosted 146,000 people only had nine medical transports!

So while these companies are trying to create the illusion that raves are now legit, some companies don’t provide the proper security, or first aid personnel that is required during these large, moneymaking events.

MDMA affects the brain quickly. Users swallow a pill or in some cases, snort a powder form of the drug, to achieve euphoria. MDMA supposedly makes people feel “love.” MDMA use can lead to acute dehydration or exhaustion, and combined with nonstop dancing, the user might collapse, become comatose and die.

When mixed with alcohol or other drugs, the probability of a fatality rises dramatically.

One of the most frightening aspects of Ecstasy use at raves is that an individual might be having an adverse reaction to the drug, but friends or other rave attendees might not notice, thanks to the loud music, a crowded dance floor and flashing neon lights. And if they took MDMA themselves, chances are that they are caught up in their own high.

That spells a tragic situation in the making.

Emergency rooms visits from adolescents and young people due to ecstasy abuse have risen, and as of 2016, Ecstasy deaths have quadrupled.

Ecstasy’s street names include X, E, XTC, Molly, Love Drug, Scooby snacks, and happy pill.

MDMA is classified as a Schedule 1 drug, a category that also includes heroin, cocaine and LSD.  The drug’s chemical compound parallels Methamphetamine and the hallucinogen Mescaline.

When taken moderately, MDMA provides feelings of bliss, enhanced awareness and get-up-and-go, which is another reason that the drug is connected to raves.  Heavier doses can lead to hallucinations, intense paranoia, depression, and aggression.

Ecstasy can permanently damage the neurons that transmit serotonin to other neurons inside the brain. Since serotonin is a mood stabilizer, a lack of this crucial monoamine neurotransmitter leads to feelings of hopelessness and despair, and long-term ecstasy use leads to permanent feelings of clinical depression.

The National Institute of Mental Health reports that during the teenage years, the brain is still under development. The teenage brain does not look like an adult brain until the adolescent is in his or her early 20’s. Since brain-imaging research concludes that long term MDMA use causes permanent injury to the brain, adolescents are particularly vulnerable to its devastating effects.

The National Institute on Drug Abuse reported that the brains of research monkeys that had not been given Ecstasy for seven years exhibited abnormal brains that revealed a major loss of serotonin neurons.

Additionally, long-term MDMA users are prone to liver failure. And those feelings of “love?” Well, that can cause users to engage in unsafe sex, which can lead to them getting or conveying HIV/AIDs or hepatitis.

MDMA takes effect between 30 and 45 minutes after ingestion, and on an average the high lasts between three and four hours. People with an empty stomach will typically feel a buzz after 15 minutes. Overdose symptoms include a sharp increase in body temperature, which can trigger a complete breakdown of muscles, as well as heart failure.

A recent article in The Guardian, a British newspaper, reported that young women are more prone to dying from MDMA than men. This is an interesting phenomenon because the ratio of men and women taking Ecstasy is 2:1. Studies indicate that the strength of the pills is much higher these days, making the drug more toxic. The UK Daily Mall reported that the chemical in MDMA can lead to water retention, and females are more susceptible to death because of how the chemical in Ecstasy interacts with a woman’s metabolism and the hormone estrogen.

In 2016, a young woman died of Ecstasy after her brain became full of water. Chances were that she became dehydrated, and drank water, which inadvertently caused her death.

On an Ecstasy forum, a young woman posted that 30 minutes after she took a pill, she thought she was going to lose her mind. Many of her friends laughed at her, but luckily she survived a “bad trip” and swore that she would never take Ecstasy again.

Research is still in the works, but it appears that women are more vulnerable to the harmful effects of taking MDMA.

Ecstasy withdrawals that result from long term abuse include depression, (which in many cases is irreversible), agitation, insomnia, memory problems, and lack of concentration.

Physical symptoms include nausea, chills, blurred vision, teeth clenching, rapid eye movement, and muscle tension.

There is a naïve belief among some users that Ecstasy is not dangerous, and that it’s safe to take. The truth is that Ecstasy is volatile, dangerous and deadly.  A professor from the Kings College’s, Drug Control Centre in London summed up Ecstasy use perfectly, by saying, “Taking Ecstasy is like playing Russian roulette.”

Get help with Cycles of Change Recovery Services today.

Co-occurring Disorders and Recovery

Often in recovery, we will hear the term co-occurring disorders.

What exactly does that term mean?

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA), co-occurring disorders, previously referred to as dual diagnoses, are the co-existence of both mental health and a substance abuse disorder.

Mental health disorders that often come into play with substance abuse and addiction include depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

According to Psychology Today, examples of co-occurring disorders include combinations of depression and cocaine, depression and opiate addiction, anxiety and benzodiazepine addiction, schizophrenia and marijuana addiction, opiate addiction, PTSD, and anxiety cocaine addiction. These groupings can include other mental health and/or chemical substances.

These mental health disorders are often challenging to diagnose while a person is actively drinking and/or using because many chemical substances can promote depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and other mental illnesses.

Initially, addicts might experience relief from their depression and anxiety by drinking and/or using. But after they develop a tolerance to their drug of choice, the drug stops making them feel good and backstabs them. This makes addicts drink or use more in a desperate effort to feel good. But often, they end up feeling more depressed. Then, they might resort to ingesting even more or adding another drug to their chemical cocktail.  At that point, they might overdose or die.

Another important factor to address when it comes to co-occurring disorders is that it is often difficult to discern if the mental illness or the substance abuse disorder came first.

This dilemma parallels the “What came first? The chicken or the egg?”

Like I did, some self-medicate with drugs and/or alcohol to alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety. Sometimes addicts shop around from drug to medicine until they find the right fit. Basically, that’s how I “coped” with my own mental illness. I tried speed, moved onto codeine, and then experimented with heroin. Luckily, I only tried heroin twice, thanks to experiencing horrifying withdrawal symptoms. Shortly after that, I was introduced to cocaine while I was bartending in a club on the Upper West Side in New York City. Somehow, I could afford my habit, and after several years, cocaine pulled a number on me.

My last coke experience reminded me of the 1979 sci-fi film, Alien, starring Sigourney Weaver. During the film, Kane (played by John Hurt) becomes the host for the Alien, a creature that later bursts out of his chest.

During my last rendezvous with cocaine, I truly believed that I had a rat scuffling around, underneath my rib cage, inside my chest cavity. I know that sounds crazy, but that’s what I imagine. I honestly thought that the rat would burst out of my torso just like the Alien erupted out of Kane!

Instead of getting clean, I shopped around for another drug.

I did not care for hallucinogens. I tried acid once and had a bad experience. And, I wasn’t keen on marijuana.

So that’s how I ended up an alcoholic.

Years later, when I saw a psychiatrist in Brentwood, California, I did not tell him that I was an alcoholic. He diagnosed me with OCD and prescribed Celexa, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), along with Cymbalta.

I am sure my meds did not mix well with the booze.

Four years after I got sober, another psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. She made a more accurate diagnosis because I did not have a substance abuse disorder masking my mental health issue.

And there are some addicts whose substance abuse disorder precedes their mental illness.

Ecstasy is a good example of a drug that can cause depression or anxiety because chronic abuse of that particular drug leads to a permanent mood disorder.

Clients with co-occurring disorders are more challenging to treat than those with just substance abuse or mental health disorder.  These individuals are more vulnerable to relapse, but once they get clean and sober, their mental health issues can worsen without proper treatment.

The bottom line is that newly clean and sober addicts who suffer from co-occurring disorders require clinical, evidence-based care. And it’s hard to find the right care. Just going to a therapist who has no clue about substance abuse or only participating in a traditional peer recovery group might not be enough.

Clinical, evidence-based treatment addresses both substance abuse and mental health disorder. This treatment program ideally includes group and individual therapy, participation in a peer recovery program, life skills coaching, and experiential therapies, including psychodrama, bio-sound therapy (for trauma), art therapy, and music therapy.

Evidence-based practices include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and motivational interviewing.

CBT is used to treat mood disorders like depression and anxiety. Clients are taught to challenge damaging thought patterns about themselves and their negative thinking about the world.  CBT uses a hands-on, practical approach. Addicts tend to get lost in their heads and often hate themselves. Sometimes their self-esteem is so destroyed that they feel like the world hates them.

While they might have undergone a toxic relationship with a parent or partner or are experiencing estrangement from a loved one, their negative feelings about the world are not based on reality.

CBT helps them change negative thinking into positive attitudes and behavior. Usually, CBT is combined with psychotherapy, which allows the therapist to create an individualized treatment plan for each client.

Participation in a peer recovery program, like AA/NA, helps addicts receive ample support. By learning to rely on a Higher Power and each other, addicts learn how to maintain their sobriety one day at a time.

A comprehensive clinical, evidence-based program will offer 12 steps, processing groups. The staff takes clients to AA/NA meetings and helps them work through their actions. Often therapists and addiction counselors are in recovery themselves, and under their guidance, clients are wisely educated on the 12 steps.

It is also important to remember that AA founder Bill Wilson suffered from depression. After he got sober, he searched for help outside the 12 steps.

Many AA members were disturbed by Wilson’s depression, and some actually said that Wilson was not working the program! Even Wilson himself believed the same thing and said,

“I used to be rather a guilt-ridden about this…I blamed myself for inability to practice the program in certain areas of my life.”

Depression is a mental illness and requires the help of licensed professionals.

Even the Big Book, which Bill Wilson co-authored with Dr. Bob Smith, says, “We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. … But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. … Though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.” 

That excerpt alone reiterates the fact that clients with co-occurring disorders require dual diagnosis support.  By participating in a comprehensive, evidence-based program, they have an excellent chance of maintaining their sobriety, rebuilding their lives, and truly comprehending the beauty of recovery.

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